A playthrough of LJN’s 1994 license-based platformer for the Super Nintendo, Wolverine: Adamantium Rage.
Have you ever noticed how small children, when they lack the words to express themselves, sometimes just let loose a scream of pure, unadulterated frustration? As a grown man, this game made me do exactly that. More than once I had to put the controller down, walk away from the machine, and actively avoid talking to anyone for several minutes for fear of unfairly taking my temper out on them.
Wolverine: Adamantium Rage is absolutely vile, and I don’t mean that in the least bit hyperbolically. I honestly believe that anyone that claims that LJN’s NES X-Men game was the worst Marvel game ever made has never played this game. And anyone that tells you that this isn’t LJN’s worse game deserves a condescending smile and a pat on the head, as if to say, “That’s so cute that you think that!”
Sure, the title screen looks awesome, the graphics are passable, and the soundtrack kicks ass. And the bio screens look like they’re from Carmen San Diego, which is kinda neat. That’s the only positivity I have to offer here. If I suffered from anger-management issues, I’d be in jail long before getting even halfway through it.
Rather than picking apart every single aspect of the game, though, I’ll say that the majority of its issues boil down to the mechanics. The collision detection is ridiculously unforgiving, and Wolverine loves to skid into the exact wrong place to land hits.
A common scenario: an enemy is shooting at you. You swing and miss by about 2 pixels, so you inch forward and swing again, and you still miss, because now you’re too close for your claws to hit, even though he can still hit you just fine. And he’ll continue to do so until you reposition yourself, and after you’ve lost a substantial chunk of your health in this process, you’ve remanoeuvered back into position, missed again, and the cycle begins anew. Yay!
Just think – that’s against just one! The game loves to overwhelm you with up to a half-dozen of these douchebags at a time, and it’s more often by sheer luck than skill that you survive these encounters.
Even better, there’s a counter that shows up (with no explanation at all, mind you) at the bottom of the screen that tells you how many enemies you have to kill before leaving the level, but it never tells you which ones, and not all enemies count toward that total, so good luck there.
Finally, that goddamned maze near the end… I swear, if I was 10 years old and playing this, I would’ve been in absolute tears of frustration at that point. It took me hours to map that section out and figure out the right order for the switches. Everyone loves mazes, right? Especially ones that get restarted everytime you’re swarmed by enemies that you can’t defend against in tight quarters. Right?
Give me Home Improvement, Batman Forever, Bebe’s Kids, or even Race Drivin’. Anything but this. I honestly don’t believe I’ve yet to play a worse SNES game than Wolverine: Adamantium Rage, and I pray that I never have to.
No cheats were used during the recording of this video.
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